if ur sad do not fear friend i am sending puppies to help u
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
if you’re somewhere dark and scary and you think ‘this feels like the first five minutes of supernatural or a horror movie’ then start walking like a dinosaur for no apparent reason. because no-one in the first five minutes of supernatural or a horror movie would start walking like a dinosaur for no apparent reason.
The ultimate survive tip
WHY DO PUPPIES DO THIS LIKE LEG THROWING THING IT’S SO CUTE I WANT TO PUKE
OKAY FUN STORY TIME BITCHES: ABOUT A FEW YEARS BACK I HAD A SHIH TZU PUPPY NAMED TOBY. EVERY TIME WE CALLED HIM OVER HE WOULD RUN IN TO US IN THIS WAY. PICTURE A LITTLE SHIH TZU ADORABLE PUPPY RUNNING WITH EVERYTHING HE HAD AT YOU WHILST LIFTING HIS LITTLE PAWS TO DO THIS. I DIED EVERYTIME. SO I ASKED THE LADY WHO GAVE HIM TO US WHY HE DID THAT AND SHE SAID THAT IT’S REAL COMMON IN MALE PUPPIES TO DO THIS BECAUSE IT’S THEIR WAY OF EXPRESSING THEMSELVES AS FIERCE AND DOMINANT AS THEY CAN BE. IT’S THE EQUIVALENT TO A LION CUB PRACTICING HIS ROAR.
I SERIOUSLY CANNOT. OFMG